The problem with Vim

I was an Emacs user for ages, and I could use other text editors just fine. The "Emacs mode" in them usually just meant readline hotkeys: C-p and C-n for previous/next line, C-a and C-e for beginning and end of line, and C-k for delete line. These are the only real movement commands I used in Emacs, and they work in almost anything. Even nano has most of these. The worst that would ever happen is I'd have to close some print dialogs.

Two years ago, a heavy bout of coding gave me some wicked wrist problems, and an ergo expert recommended I switch to vim. It fixed my wrists, but now my hands are wrecked. My fingers have minds of their own. My muscles have learned a subset of vim that does not seem to be a subset of any vim plugin maintainer's usage. I'll be in Vimperator or Eclipse vi-mode or Vintage and I'll hit cf" and nothing will happen, and I'll realize I'm completely lost. I lose my chain of thought and it takes me a non-negligible amount of time to realize that I'm going to have to hold down shift and use the arrow keys like some sort of Notepad user. I become irrationally angry and wish horrible torture upon the poor soul who wrote the (altogether pretty good) vim plugin I'm using, because who are they to not include every single verb and noun that my fingers have painstakingly learned over the past few years. I slam my keyboard against the table, throw the mouse through the monitor, then roundhouse-kick the tower off the desk before I set fire to my desk every time a vim plugin is incomplete. Every time people suggest I use an IDE, I shed one sad tear, knowing that I will never ever be able to shake the almost crack-like addiction of vim.

Vim has reduced me to a pathetic teary wreck every time I have to use a text editor that isn't vim.

I wrote this in vim.